Alas, another milestone year approaches (KNN, turning 45 this week) in this sad and sorry life and as it does, I am prompted to write and reflect on my life as a cheongster and hopefully draw some feedback and advice from samsters reading this thread on how to avoid being a sad fuck and being a “Robert” from those days a-cheonging…

I am unmarried at this age, never had a gf and never really experienced true love. Reasons for this is I always had my head in the clouds and never settled for mediocrity ie those guys always looking for Ms Universe standard but never attaining satisfaction. Naturally, to substitute the lack of companionship, I took to the excitement of cheonging ever since my first fuck with a WL at age 23. Still remembered her name, a beautiful WL from Penang with long silky hair, a real gorgeous beauty who was a gl cat 150 from Lorong 30 Hse 33 (the infamous “Sar #### sar sar” in the 80s was the “in “place to be in GL). “Shaleen” was my birthday treat from cheongster brothers who knew abt my cute innocence in such matters and man, what a wonderful birthday gift. Imagine getting bbbj, fj and all the relevant “j”s at your first go in gl. Surely, with such a wonderful first start, I got hooked to cheonging WLs like a heroin addict.

Over the years, my cheonging exploits has spread far and wide, from Bangkok to Batam. Always in pursuit of the cheongster’s dream, paying for commercial sex with WLs but also looking at the same time to find one that not only is a beauty in the eyes of this beholder but can give gf feeling and will reciprocate in feelings of mutuality. After many hard lessons learnt over the years, countless times getting ripped off and being made a “Robert”, still sadly devoid of attaining that last bit of satisfaction or made wiser over the ages. How???? Sad Fuck?? Oh, yes, many a-times I am sure.

The progression of misdeeds transcended over time. From GL to KS, health centres in particular were favourite haunts, then slowly the virus spreads…..JB joints ( any cheongsters out there remember the “99” joints in JB ie RM99 for a session with WL). The so called music pubs in JB (still around I know) which was abt RM 120 for ST. Then health centres in JB were the flavour…Roman, Lion City, Bluewave, Grant Continental etc. After JB, it became KL and even further up to Penang. When young, them hormones are raging like bushfires!!

Took a break from regional scene and went abroad to seek ultimate thrill for us chinaman ie white trash meat or blondes. Was in Perth, Australia for 2years between ‘88-’90 and became a terror of Northbridge (redlight area in Perth). Man, I tried them all, from the most gorgeous looking blondes to brunettes, from Aphrodite to Lisa’s Retreat to Langtrees now. Fell for a blonde chick named “Tina” at the “Scarlet Garter” wow she was so beautiful , the epitome of babyboomer generation like mine who grew up on pin up posters of Farah Fawcett (oldies will know what I am talking about). I even told this WL I love her but she did not reciprocate. Oh the sillyness of this screwed-up cheongster! But a couple of ang mor WLs did whispered the “L” word to me after a few frequent visits. Brothers, can tell me what does it really mean?? When a WL say that you are “ a nice guy” or a genuine bloke and that they “Love you”.?

On looking back and analyzing those seldom spoken words from WL can mean 2 things; i.e firstly you have been quite a “Robert” paying top dollar and tipping her well. Secondly, the u are a “ a nice guy” remark because you are one with a “softer heart” and not demanding in your sexual expectations, not like those meanies, the not-so-“nice guys” like yourself who really pressure and force themselves on the WLs and milking every cent of their hard earned money paid to secure WL’s services. Being a silly romantic at heart, I always treat even WLs tenderly and am quite passionate if she responds. Hence the “L” word . I also stupid and willing to lend a listening ear even if they bitch to me about their life’s problems. Am I sad or what!!

Let me relate another experience to you. When I was 39, had this 18 year old blonde student chick part-timing in MP called “La Cherie”. She was a beauty, young and athletic. What u expect when you’re 18. Cost abt A$200 a session. I as usual made incredible chit chat and with my easy going nature always get on well with the WLs. Soon we were making really passionate love in bed and kissing away like lovers. Both of us felt a connection (or so I thought). So a 2nd and 3rd visit was inevitable. Then she throws me the “L” word and asked me to keep in touch and gave me her personal details. Aiya, old man so goondu fell for it and even when go back Sillypore called and wrote love letters but no respond. See! Stupid or what! On reflection, thinking back now, what does a promising 18 year old undergrad even if WL, wld want anything to do with a 39 year old Sillyporean. Talk about getting hopes up!! Ha ha.

Other “Robert” episodes stem from screwing exploits of ceweks in Tanjung Pinang when it once became a weekly trend to go Bintan.. Typical Robert I would really throw money to treat them well in the hope of expecting good service in bed and some gf feeling but they always spot the “Robert” trait in me and always know how to hustle me. At the end, it’s a case of of getting what I want, despite spending like a duke, because these WLs can spot us softies a mile away!! On many occasions, the WLs/FLs/ceweks refuse to give service bec they know this Robert can makan so end up not screwing at all since its not what I wanted. Stupid hor, pay all that money, time and effort gone, still never screw so go sleep la. Happened to me many a-times in Batam too and also when booking PRC girls. Fucking cunning lot esp and totally unresponsive in bed but we all know prc are cunning bitches hor.

How brothers, any advice for this old fool? I am what I am and cannot change. Even cheong so much in various countries, I still won’t change my nice guy image in front of these WLs and even though paid so much, will never force WL to give good service if she refused and know that she supposed to do minimum of BJ before sex. With cheonging WLs in Batam, Bintan, Sillypore and even Bangkok/hatyai, still so blurr after all these years, being a softie at heart. I sometimes put too much attention to details and want to do my best to put them at ease and always entertain the hope that they reciprocate with better service or some gf feeling. But alas, it’s always been the case of trying to hard and not getting it. You know what I mean? Please feel free to comment, advise, criticize and inputs, anything. I want to hear your frank views la and advice, as I not getting any younger hor!! Or maybe I am just facing the cheongster dilemna and always looking for sexual Nirvana in all the wrong places?

To sum up, I think I am what my ah beng friend advise me once...that I am display too much of an ang mor pattern to WLs when the WLs only respond to ah beng pattern. Wonder if any of that is true.............Please excuse the above as a long winded rantings of a man facing midlife crisis if its too boring..

Cheers