[MoeLanYong]

TS,
There is nothing abnormal with you. It is out of curiousity that you sought the forbidden fruit. After satisfying your curiousity, subsequent trips to FL is merely to satisfy your lust. You are right about trotting down that slippery slope. Most guys in SBF are so deep down that slope that they have accepted/want commercial sex as a part of their lifestyle.

What's good is you realize visiting FL is not the way forward. For a decent man. I assume you are one. Not only is it unsafe, a piece of you goes missing every time the deed is done. You felt the guilt. Why? Bec sex was created to bind you with your spouse. Not bind you and a random girl. Look deep into the eyes of a FL, and you will see she has lost her soul. To her, it is just another day, another guy, another act. Sex has lost its meaning. Isnt it sad? Sex is supposed to be so much more. A time of pleasure with your loved one, an expression of love, a bonding, an exchange of emotion etc. Well, if you want to be like the FL that lost her soul, then continue down that slippery slope. Then one day, sex with your gf/future wife will be "just another act".

Else, I do recommend you find a way to curb that lust. Your right hand has other uses besides just writing. Perhaps you should bring your r/s with your gf to another level. Why does she not want to have sex with you? How old are you? Why is marriage not on the cards?