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In every romantic relationship there comes a time to meet the parents.

The stress of wondering if they will like and accept you can lead to embarrassing misstatements.

To help you avoid some of the most common conversational pitfalls I've compiled a list of the Top Ten things not to say to your girlfriend's parents when you meet them for the first time:


10. Gee, Pops, you're not nearly as big an asshole as your daughter said you are.

9. Wazzzaaaaap!

8. The water in your toilet tastes funny.

7. You got a spoon and a lighter I can borrow? I left mine at home.

6. No... No... It's OK. I kinda like it when your dog humps my leg.

5. Your daughter is attractive, but have you seen the tits on her friend Joanne?

4. Hi, Mr. Jones. I'm Bob. This is Chuck, George, Steve and the midget is Sam. Is Sally ready?

3. (While honking horn in driveway) Hey! I'm waiting out here! Send the bitch out!

2. You should be proud, Mr. And Mrs. Smith, you've raised a good girl. I can't get her to blow me no matter what I say.


And the number 1 thing not to say when you meet your boy or girlfriend's parents for the first time:

1. Man, living under the same roof with a piece of ass like that, I bet you wish you were anyone else but her father.