[ilikeoldchangke]

My eyes drifted to the sugar cane Seven was chewing and I thought about how badly the fibres would hurt.

Hong : OEI !!!

Jackson : what…ok…ok….


5k is a lot of money. With that I can probably persuade my grandfather back to get a checkup or something. If I do this for 6 months, 30k, I limit my expenses, I can bring him to a specialist at a private hospital.

Jackson : fine…. Whatever….

It’s not as if I have never been naked around men before.

I removed all my clothing, striping to my underwear.



Hong and Kamal checked me from head to toe.
They even asked me to pry open the space in between my toes.

It finally dawned on me what they are looking for.

Needles holes. They wanted to know if I’ve taken drugs before.

When Declan asked for me to remove my underwear, I did so without complain and after a quick inspection, he gestured for me to get dress.

Declan : I’m very sorry for having to do that but we just want to be sure….

Jackson : that I don’t take drugs… ?

Declan smiled.


He told me he already did a check with Keng about the kind of person I am. The reason why they are interested in me is because of their boss.

Jackson : Your boss ?

Declan : well… you see… after the first few gardeners….ermm…. inability to perform….she set some pretty strict rules on the new one we are to get….

Aside from not having a history of drugs, she wanted someone with no criminal records, someone who doesn’t smoke, someone educated, works independently and with no history of violence or gang affiliation.

He has to be local, good with landscaping and works alone. By working alone, he meant everything from buying, delivering right down to digging the hole for the plants to go into and working with fertilisers.

At no point are these works to be outsourced or given to another contractor.


Declan : so you can imagine how hard it is to find someone like that…… i’ve gone to so many landscape nursery looking for someone suitable …….so I hope you would forgive me if we seemed too…. Ermm…. Overly eager….

Jackson : errmm… I see….

Declan : I know you don’t smoke…. Keng says you are never one to touch drugs…. And so…. Here we are…. You are a god sent…. Hhahaha.. hahaha…

Hong : hahah.. hahaha… Boss lost her bet… ahha…

Declan shot Hong a look and he shut up immediately.


Something about a bet.

Their boss must be thinking it’s near impossible to find someone with the kind of requirements she gave.

I nodded while looking around the room uncomfortably.

Declan : ok…. Back to the money…..the offer is 5k a month….working hours is as and when you like…. But you need to get shit done …. Or a lot of people are going to be upset…. Especially Seven over there….anger management issues remember ??

Jackson : as and when I like… ? what… ?


Declan : You want to take weekends off ? …. Weekdays off…. Work 8 hours…. Work 10 hours… your choice…. As long as we get a garden that we can all be proud off….. if it rains, I can’t expect you to come also what…. For what ? pray for the rain to stop…. ? hahaha

Jackson : errr… ok… can we put it as ….ermm… 9 am to 6pm in the contract…. You know…. better to have it in black and white….

Hong : contract ??? what contract ?? our word…. Is our contract ???!!! you think we bluff you one ah !!!

Declan shot Hong a look and asked him to shut up.

Declan : contract… of course…. Of course…. Having things in black and white is good for everyone. …


Declan reached into his pocket trying to search for a pen and paper.
Kamal pulled out a old crumpled piece of paper which was the advertisement for a hotpot restaurant and pushed it to Declan together with a pen.

You got to be shitting me.

Declan asked what other employment terms I would like to have.

He started writing on the crumpled piece of paper.


Oh god, I’m going to get screwed so bad at this place seeing how things are going. A contract on the back of a piece of advertisement.

Jackson : What about medical …. ? ermm… sick leave …. And annual leave…. Can I claim for if I fall sick… ?

Declan : oh…. Sick ? no problem…. Dr Kamal can help you…

I turned around and my jaws almost dropped. This is definitely a joke.

Jackson : Dr….Kamal … ?


Declan : yes.. he’s our resident doctor…. Graduated from NUS…. Went on to UK to do his masters… he’s a qualified surgeon by the way…….but unfortunately…… got struck off the registrar….

I turned and looked at Kamal again.


He was squatting down, knees spread, his knee length denim stretched tight at the crotch area as he played with his mobile phone with his right hand, elbow resting on his knee.

Declan : he is a good doctor…. Believe me… he stitched me up before…. Look….

He went on to show me a scar at least 6 inches long on his forearm.


Jackson : hooohhhh…kay…..

Declan : ermmm.. annual leave……errr… what is the standard number of days now ?? ….

Jackson : errr…. I don’t know… would be nice if I get 14….

Declan : 14… ? take 21…. 21 just nice…

Hong : 28 la…. got number 8…. HUAT HUAT ( to prosper )

Declan : good idea…. 28….


28 days leave ? Who in the work gets 28 days leave in this country. I’m beginning to think this whole thing is a joke.

He went on to scribble it on the paper without waiting for my reply.

Jackson : what about CPF ? you will be contributing to my CPF account right… ? it’s the law….


Declan paused before turning to Hong.

Hong shrugged his shoulders.

Declan : tell you what… we’ll count the contribution portion…. And give you in cash.. then you put in on your own… how’s that… ?

Jackson : … err.. ok… I don’t mind…. Then what about the budget for doing up the garden…. Who do I pass the invoice to….? As in who approves the things and plants I need to get….


Declan : you of course…. You are the one that knows about plants….

Jackson :me … ? just me… ?

Declan : why not….

Jackson : errr… ok….

Declan : if you need money… get from Hong….he’ll hook you up….

Hong : I’ll give you your 1st month pay first… plus errmmm.. the CPF is what ar…how much….


Hong unzipped his bag and took out a stack of thousand dollar bills.
That lousy sling bag is packed full of money.

He counted 6 pieces before pushing them across the table.

Hong : enough ? is this enough ???

I could not believe what I was seeing.

He started counting another 10 pieces.


Hong : 10k enough to buy plants and stuff you need to start working or not ??? or you need more… ?


He pushed the mess of notes all over to me and I stared at the money while holding onto the side of my chair.

This is worrying.

Who the fuck walks around with stacks of thousand dollar bills in a faded sling bag across his chest ?


Declan : oh… we deal in cash only by the way…. I hope that is not a problem… I assure you… these are real notes…. Hahaha… sorry….. we’re a bit short on 100 dollar bills these days… and the 500s are pretty rare as it is….. I have 10 thousand dollar bills though but they are harder to break into small notes….

Jackson : what about 50s ?

Hong : you go bank ask them break for you !!!

Declan : Hong… please… I’m really going to go deaf one day…. Stop shouting by my ear….

Turning to me with a smile, he quickly added ;


Declan : And Jackson…..i need to remind you that…. Ermmm… how do I put this….. we are…errr… we trust you…. With money…. As you can see…. But…. Ermm……


Hong : He trying to say….. if you ever try to fuck with us…. Especially with money…. You is die….. YOU IS DIE….. understand …. I confirm…. You IS DIE…

Jackson : you mean ‘ you will die ? “ … got it…

Hong : No… I mean ‘ you IS die ‘

I nodded and told Hong not to go on.

He turned to Seven and asked him which part of ‘ you is die ‘ do I not get.

Jackson : I understand….. I understand… I got it…. I got it…. Thank you… ‘ I is die’….. confirm…. ‘ I is die ‘


It’s my fault, I should not have bothered to pick on his language skills.

Declan went on to say that the shed we are in is the store and rest area for me.

Declan : You can do it up if you like, you can put a bed, stay over…. It’s up to you…there’s a bathroom on the side over there…. A little cramp but it will do…. This…..


He gestured to the small cozy shed and added,

Declan : This is your lair…. Abode… studio …. if you prefer a nicer term… hahah….

I nodded.



Jackson : ok…. Thank you…

Someone knocked on the door and handed Kamal an electronic key card.

Kamal passed that card to me.

Kamal : …. this unlocks this door, the gate, the recreation area …. , basically anywhere that you are allowed to go…. If the door doesn’t open for you…. That place is not for you…. Understand… ?

I nodded as I palmed the card and kept it in my pocket.

Declan : Jackson…. I need to explain to you….some rules….so please listen carefully….. the house you see over there….…. We call that the castle….

Declan did not use his hand, instead he nodded over to the direction where I saw that large majestic house looming over the property.

Jackson : It sure looks like one to me…

Declan : hahaha.. yes…and in that castle….

Jackson : lives the queen…. Ok… I got it…


Declan nodded, happy that I understand where he’s coming from.

Declan : Do not go in there…..do not attempt to go near there….your key card allows you through the gates, and guard house and to your shed here …..most of the other places are out of bounds…. l


Jackson : yes… I’m the farmer….. I stay away from the royalties….no problem….


Seven chuckled again, no doubt amused by my lame joke.