[mokermania]

Originally Posted by Xgenre

If you are here to complain and let off steam, that is ok. Don't take the comments here too seriously and actually follow through without thinking. I hope you did not really complain to her about her lack of figure.

Many ladies lose their figure after giving birth. Even those who seemed to slim down, the skin on their tummy and breast will likely not be as smooth. Many stretch marks as you will know by now. Some even have gestational diabetes. Their hips are also expanded and wider if it is a natural birth. These ladies know and they do feel self-conscious and have low morale. So if you still complain about her figure after all the sacrifices she made having your children, you will make them feel even more self conscious and lose more self confidence. She is the mother of your children even if she is out of shape so go easy on her. Plus it will not look nice on you if she tells your family and friends about your complaint about her figure. Then you will be the target of anger for all the ladies (among your family and friends) who had given birth.

Worse is if your comments drive her to look for a man who will appreciate her. Wait she leave you for another guy and then you have to suffer the power of the Women's Charter. Don't believe you do a test. Set up a new nick and post her statistics here. Say she is here to look for a FB after her husband doesn't appreciate her now due to a lack of figure after child birth. You will see the inbox burst with requests to meet her despite her current figure. If she gets the feeling of being wanted elsewhere, why will she want to stay with someone who demeans her?

Instead of trying to get her to change via a complaint (which is starting from a point of negativity), why not try prompting a change via love and care?(which is starting from positivity) For example, just comment about how you read that obesity is linked to High Blood Pressure, Cholesterol and Diabetes. Given that both of you are parents, both of you should help each other watch one another's BMI. Or something mushy like you want to grow old with her so both of you should watch your health now. It is not just solely about the message of losing weight. It is also about how you package this message. Do some sports as a family. Bring the kids out for a stroll etc. Many things to do in Singapore.

You have to ask yourself honestly. If she slims down, will having sex with her be good as in the past? Or are you sick and tired of always having the same dish and just using her figure as an excuse to rant out? If slimming down is all you need to stay with her, go Google (The five love languages). You can find a summary of the points online. Follow accordingly and hopefully things will get better. I think if her self esteem increases, she will want to be more mindful of her body image. How you respect her will be an example to your children on how they should respect their spouses in future. If you always quarrel with your wife, then the children may grow up thinking it is normal to quarrel with your spouse in a marriage.

Well said neighbour