Quote:
Originally Posted by SocialCircle
But I’m in my 40s. And if I continue living my life like this,
I really feel I’ve wasted my life.
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This sounds like a mid-life crisis to me. Ask yourself honestly, what exactly do you want out of your life? And are you prepared to deal with the consequences of breaking up your family just to pursue your own desires?
Things like not wanting to visit your parents, grumbling about housework, these are all issues you should be aware of, and have been ok with all along. They are only more apparent now because you have met someone else that you're constantly comparing your wife with. But do bear in mind, the grass is always greener on the other side of the pasture. This new lady you have met, can you say for a fact that she wouldn't have quirks that will piss you off in time? Dating someone and doing all the fun stuff is one thing, living 24/7 and dealing with the ups and downs is another.
You say the love with your wife has "diminished". Have you done anything to keep the romance alive? It takes two hands to clap after all. Have you made an effort to do the things you did with this other woman, with your own wife? Or are you just giving up on your marriage once a better prospect comes along?
You have known your wife for decades. Boredom and complacency are definitely things that will hinder such a long relationship. If you go for a divorce now, and spend a similar amount of time with this other woman, what makes you think that you wouldn't have the same problem 20 years down the road?
Marriage is a commitment. You can't say you have "wasted your life" because I'm sure good things did come out of your marriage. It was the decision your 20s self had made that brought you here. You chose to marry your wife. Nobody put a gun to your head. You've build yourself a home over the years. Ask yourself - is it worth wrecking your home now for... what exactly?
Some people here might be saying "yea go for what your heart tells you". I'm not saying that's not a valid point of view. But remember, you are the one that has to deal with the consequences of your actions, not them. So think long and hard over what you want, and if you are willing to pay the price for it.
Based on what you've been posting, it sounds to me that you have no major problems in your marriage other than a general discontentment. Try to remember why you married your wife in the first place. What did you love about her? What are the things you guys enjoyed doing in the past? Is it possible to revisit those days?
I'll advise you to have a heartfelt conversation with your wife, rekindle the romance, and don't give up without trying.
Good luck.