Advice for me please?

[MisterBig]

Originally Posted by Forver

Hi guys

Wont mind give me some advice please?
i am 40 plus and still i am alone.
I even paid for tinder to match me a match but did not get a positive respond.
mostly are massage girls and ladies providing sexual services.
I am kind of like tired of engaging such paid services. The feel is very transnational.
I see many brothers out there posting wonderful pictures of their sexcape and actions with their FB and GF and ONS and secret etc etc.

To those brothers out there, is there any place i can hook up with a girl?
Like any apps or social groups or places i can just go and get to know them?

I know i will get alot of zap, i don't mind, but hopefully some nice people out there can bring me out of my circle

Bro... I have friends, both male and female, who are in the same boat and are quite eligible. But I think it boils down to one thing... marketing.

Did you put yourself out there? And in the right places? I mean... if you are always at spas, ktv, etc. it's just not gonna happen. Are you marketable? I mean... I asked a buddy once if he would date the female version of himself? If not, then some things have to change. Even ONS, FBs, don't come overnight... much less a relationship.

I do agree that local ladies are hard to please... but let's face it, women today don't really need a man for money. All she needs a dildo. So it's a tough crowd out there... and with a lot of competition.

Personally, I did tried a paid dating app just for the heck of it... and I did land a couple of ladies who are seriously looking, but managed to hook up with them without any commitment. So don't be cheapo and pay for a decent match-making app.

Or how about meetup.com? just go out and meet up based on your interest. Just get yourself out there.

[LordVader]

Originally Posted by coypredator

What sort of "luck" are we talking about here?

3 x FBs

And quite a few I am working on at the moment.

Not bad looking too.

[MisterBig]

Originally Posted by randyrockhard

Hookups is never about us men, it's always about women agreeing to allow you, a stranger to be intimate with her. They control the outcome, not us.

.

I absolutely agree... If we are a product, if we want people to buy, we first have to be marketable. BMW vs LADA (price aside), which one would you rather buy?

But even with a good product, BMW also spend a lot on marketing. So it's a combination of <<marketable product + marketing>>

[madog]

no response from TS who are looking for advice?

[D-joker]

Do u even have any female friends in the first place.
And nt sure ur issue is finding fbs, ons or serious rs. Maybe u can clairfy more first then we can advise u accordingly.

[Forver]

I hope i can find a long term relationship in the end.
of course if there are FB and ONS why should i reject right ?

[Powerman881]

On dating apps, pretty sure there will be matches. Follow up promptly on the matches, work on and showcase your strengths, u will get one potential partner in time to come.

[Abcdefghijklmn]

Try this bro.

1. Go to mirror. Imagine if you are a girl, do you find yourself attractive. If no, work on it. Gym, clothes refresh, perfume, hair and blah blah blah.

2. How well can you hold a conversation? Usually a person lose attention after 5 minutes, what make you special? Don’t let fat wallet be that reason. Example: Lim Bei come with 1k in pocket. Cb, suddenly you come with 10k in pocket. There is alway a mountain higher than yours.

3. Environment. Go to a place that you find quality girls. Finding girls in night spot, they tend to bring more troubles. I am not saying that they are bad, but you will be expecting more troubles to brew.

My advice: go take up gym from good fitness center. Go during peak hours and off peak hours. Peak hours: ice cream for your eyes. Off peak: you may know a couple of buddies there. From there, establish a name and play it right. If you want settle down, you won’t want people to say cbk is here or bad mouth you. Let your buddies be one of your trump card to be comfortable for the ladies.

[iluvbreast]

Originally Posted by Forver

I hope i can find a long term relationship in the end.
of course if there are FB and ONS why should i reject right ?

TS, how many relationship(s) have you had? Since you are asking for some advice...mind give us some details about yourself. Do you have a job that pay decent? Do you work long/odd hours?

I mean assuming you started work at least 15-20 years ago, there must be a reason that you stayed single all these while.

What do you want in a long term relationship? Do you wish to marry? have children?

Maybe you can let us know, I have friends who are married but wish they have stayed single, and I have friends who are single and yearn to marry, both thinks the grass is greener on the other side.

I was single, then married, divorced and since remarried, in between, I got a few FBs and lost them.

There must be a reason you are alone

[larue]

As a few others have put it, you need to work on yourself to improve your self esteem.

Until you do that there’s no point knowing what platform to use, where you go to look for women or what other people’s methods are.

[coypredator]

TS, have you tried to date girls before?

You need to practice practice and practice; fail, fail and fail.

If you can't accept rejection, then you are not fit for the game.

[Forver]

Originally Posted by iluvbreast

TS, how many relationship(s) have you had? Since you are asking for some advice...mind give us some details about yourself. Do you have a job that pay decent? Do you work long/odd hours?

I mean assuming you started work at least 15-20 years ago, there must be a reason that you stayed single all these while.

What do you want in a long term relationship? Do you wish to marry? have children?

Maybe you can let us know, I have friends who are married but wish they have stayed single, and I have friends who are single and yearn to marry, both thinks the grass is greener on the other side.

I was single, then married, divorced and since remarried, in between, I got a few FBs and lost them.

There must be a reason you are alone

Maybe i should answer this
I have a very decent job, but then my working hours are very unpredictable
I used to have 4 long term relationship before. But most ended in like 3 to 4 years.

Because of the nature of my job, i could not really spend time with them at the correct day. Say for example, we plan for a trip but then most of the time because of work, have to cancel the trip. Sometimes when i am home, i would just want to spend time to work on my stuff. Most a time they will complain say like wah since u got time also dun wan accompany them.

I have been single since for like 5 years. Surviving mostly on Paid services when i needed. So much so is that, i am getting bored. The feeling is not there. So i decided should i get a partner and see how it goes.

I see many brothers out there with ladies teasing with seductive pictures and the lure of their naked butt to F them. Really envy them. Their FBs, ONs , may not be as pretty as paid services but at least the feeling towards each other is not just about a transactions.

Yes of course i hope i have many FBs and ONs, who doesn't right ?
At least when i pay for their purchase and buy them dinner, there is still a certain feeling of being a girlfriend. At least this HB or ONs does have a chance to bloom into a partner.

I know I myself is not those super handsome Andy Lau Arron Kwok kind of man. And i am not looking at women who are young and pretty and hot with super curvy 32F figure. I am 173cm and around 75kg in weight, which seems decent for a guy. I maybe find that myself is unable to start the first approach. The "hello can i know you" stage, i do have difficulties in after that what should i say kind of situation

Maybe you can tell me like where should i go to better give myself a chance to get close and interact with a women, A more decent app or dating website be it flirting , FB , Ons, or even a life time partner. I really don't find it interesting that the person talking to me on the app are either paid sex services or asking me to go massage or SPA.

[Forver]

Originally Posted by coypredator

TS, have you tried to date girls before?

You need to practice practice and practice; fail, fail and fail.

If you can't accept rejection, then you are not fit for the game.

Ya i do agree with you
but then is there even a place for me to practice ?
lol

[unsung80]

Thanks for sharing with us, is not easy to open up and i decided to give you some of my thoughts. If useful, take it, if not dump all my words or zap me.

My experience

If you are looking for a lifetime partner, focus in that thought to look for a suitable partner. Dun even look for ONS, FB, paid service. Honestly is not something proud to brag but this is a sex forum, so otherwise. Go for proper networking session to meet single ladies to expand your network first, dun rush into a relationship for the sake of it because both parties won't be happy and lasting. Hurting yourself is one thing, but hurting the other party is not nice either.

Most women dun care about your look, whatever 5C you have. Don't set your expectation too high as it will leads to zero count in the end. Dun let your heart earn money to spend on paid services, is a super waste of money and time with no return in "investment", after finish a fuck you go home and feel empty, loneliness in your heart. Then the whole process repeat again and again till you are hurting yourself. Is never too late to wake up now!

There is a reason why you are alone and maybe you can't even see it yourself, your personality, attitude, manner, social skill etc? Not saying you are poor in all these areas but somewhere in there is missing and need to replenish the weakness.

Go expand your horizon, practice talking with more women, the more you practise the better you get. Look at the mirror and talk, boost up your own confident sky high. Feel good about yourself first, the ladies can feel you. That's why before a big boss presentation, pitching for sales etc, there is a need to rehearsal.

Simple fact that most bros miss out. Sincerity and heart matter the most for woman.

Sure got many more solid advice from bros here, take their questions and do some self reflection and self-improvement. If you are willingly to improve yourself, your life will gradually be better. Self awareness is very important which many people are lacking. All the best

[randyrockhard]

A good friend of mine from uni taught me a very good lesson to break the mental barrier when talking to women.

Rule Number 1. Talk to them like you would to a 5 years old. NEVER ever treat them like they are a princess on a pedestal. You being the adult here, so you should play the role of a mature, kind, loving, playful gentleman.

Rule Number 2. In the event you come across a woman you find attractive... Try talking to her like you would to a not-so-attractive person. This usually helps us to be more in control of ourselves as to not appear trying too hard to impress 😚