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  #1186  
Old 10-09-2020, 02:51 AM
xiaozhi xiaozhi is offline
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Re: All you need to know about "Marriage/Divorce" under the SG Law

Hi all, my wife file for divorce and in the statement of claims, she put I unreasonable behaviour because I never contribute anything in terms of financial and household chores and also looking after the son. Basically I do nothing plus say I involve in alot of third party relationship and say I love you to other woman. All these are basically nonsense as she have no solid proof. If I agree to the statement and sign, will the judge at final judgement will not award joint custody even though my wife say we will have joint custody? Also will all these claims next time come haunt me in future let's say I'm going to remarry? Thanks
  #1187  
Old 10-09-2020, 09:31 AM
178noobnoob 178noobnoob is offline
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Quote:
Originally Posted by xiaozhi View Post
Hi all, my wife file for divorce and in the statement of claims, she put I unreasonable behaviour because I never contribute anything in terms of financial and household chores and also looking after the son. Basically I do nothing plus say I involve in alot of third party relationship and say I love you to other woman. All these are basically nonsense as she have no solid proof. If I agree to the statement and sign, will the judge at final judgement will not award joint custody even though my wife say we will have joint custody? Also will all these claims next time come haunt me in future let's say I'm going to remarry? Thanks
Hi Bro, best is to consult a lawyer. My wife now also the same.
  #1188  
Old 10-09-2020, 03:54 PM
xiaozhi xiaozhi is offline
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Originally Posted by 178noobnoob View Post
Hi Bro, best is to consult a lawyer. My wife now also the same.
I today went to the state court free legal clinic. The lawyer say if you and your spouse agree on the terms you 2 discuss, even the statement of claim say how jia lat you are won't affect the custody of the child.
  #1189  
Old 11-09-2020, 03:59 PM
popeye21 popeye21 is offline
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Quote:
Originally Posted by xiaozhi View Post
Hi all, my wife file for divorce and in the statement of claims, she put I unreasonable behaviour because I never contribute anything in terms of financial and household chores and also looking after the son. Basically I do nothing plus say I involve in alot of third party relationship and say I love you to other woman. All these are basically nonsense as she have no solid proof. If I agree to the statement and sign, will the judge at final judgement will not award joint custody even though my wife say we will have joint custody? Also will all these claims next time come haunt me in future let's say I'm going to remarry? Thanks
i believe the statement of claims is the affidavit right? she can put all that. and you will also have to give ur affidavit or your defence and state her issue also.

- if 3rd party, u put up ur defence and deny. and show prove. whatsapp or anything. sometimes u chat with female colleague she screen shot onli certain lines to say u flirt but if the converstaion is clean n nth for u to scared u screen shot all the conversation. if you are wrong and really do flirt ot eat outside den i m.not sure

- household wise. gt bank statement mah. money transferred. print bank statement u transfer her money or u pay for bills. if u contribute less or so explain why. and say u gave the maximum u can for household. if you don give or so its gonna be an issue also

- if judge decide on custody don think she can do anything except make ur life miserable by not letting you see the children even though its ur turn or so. troublesome to report to family court but still can. i think now they want father to be more involve in the childrens life.likely joint custody bro. unless they have reason to keep u away from the child for their safety or so

and yes engage a lawyer for this if you can. if not abit troublesome to do all this paperwork yourself. and lawyer know how to argue your case
  #1190  
Old 13-09-2020, 01:29 AM
xxx_OrOcO_xxx xxx_OrOcO_xxx is offline
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I believe you as the Defendant is still in the early stage of the divorce. Please ask whether you want a divorce and only you can answer

1) Defendant need to file for Memorandum of Appearance [MOA].

2) Depend on the circumstances and what you want to do (please discuss with a lawyer if needed), Defendant then need to file for Counter-claim, Defence. Even if Defendant agree to the divorce, Defendant is recommended to file for Counter-claim on those details which he/she found are false. So I believe TS should file for Counter-claim.

As for child custody issues, both parties will need to attend mandatory parenting counselling. Usually Plaintiff will propose a parenting plan as well. All these mediations and counselling sessions will be of Child-focus. FJCs view the welfare of the child as the ONLY number one priority, everything else are secondary. If the marriage is short and/or the former spouse is having a higher income, then TS is not required to provide spouse maintenance.

As for spousal maintenance and child maintenance, it all depends on the length of the marriage. Under all normal circumstances, both parties will agree to pay for child maintenance, which is crucial for child custody: Joint OR Sole. Usually it is Joint Custody. The care and control (which parent the child will live together) is always usually goes to the mother, unless the mother is proven to be unfit to have provide care for the child well being.

In the event, if TS remarry; TS is still required to continue providing maintenance for both former spouse and child. TS is not required to give spouse maintenance IF former spouse remarry to another man. In all circumstances, childcare maintenance is largely a must until the child reaches 21 years of age.

Lastly and importantly, my suggestion to TS: please get hold of a Divorce Support Specialist Agency - DSSA, this will help TS in a lot of ways. FJCs and the Judge will see TS in a positive light as they see TS taking a proactive manner in wanting to keep the relations amicable after divorce. DSSA is also authorised by FJCs to handle divorce cases (in terms of child access).

Hope the above helps!

Quote:
Originally Posted by xiaozhi View Post
Hi all, my wife file for divorce and in the statement of claims, she put I unreasonable behaviour because I never contribute anything in terms of financial and household chores and also looking after the son. Basically I do nothing plus say I involve in alot of third party relationship and say I love you to other woman. All these are basically nonsense as she have no solid proof. If I agree to the statement and sign, will the judge at final judgement will not award joint custody even though my wife say we will have joint custody? Also will all these claims next time come haunt me in future let's say I'm going to remarry? Thanks
  #1191  
Old 22-10-2020, 03:57 PM
iluvbreast iluvbreast is offline
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Re: All you need to know about "Marriage/Divorce" under the SG Law

Quote:
Originally Posted by xiaozhi View Post
I today went to the state court free legal clinic. The lawyer say if you and your spouse agree on the terms you 2 discuss, even the statement of claim say how jia lat you are won't affect the custody of the child.
Today I free, so kaypoh a bit, besides the legal free clinic, have you engage & consult your own lawyer?

Divorce cost money, especially in your case, (which I think) because your wife (soon to be ex) is suing for divorce.

In a nutshell, there are 2 parts to the divorce process:
1. The dissolution of your marriage
2. Ancillaries such as your children, assets, maintenance etc.

Now the legal clinic is correct; your formal divorce papers will carry an order of court, which is essentially an agreement (or if both of you cannot agreed, then it will be decided by the judge) over how life will be after divorce especially with regards to the ancillaries.

My only humble advice is quickly seek a lawyer to protect your interest, there are times where you have to spent, this is one of those times.
  #1192  
Old 23-10-2020, 01:30 AM
Chess Chess is offline
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Re: All you need to know about "Marriage/Divorce" under the SG Law

anyone encounter while on proceeding both party still staying together till case is over?
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Last edited by Chess; 06-11-2020 at 01:02 PM.
  #1193  
Old 15-11-2020, 05:41 PM
RicochetJuke RicochetJuke is offline
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Re: All you need to know about "Marriage/Divorce" under the SG Law

I’m 27 this year wife is 26, got a baby this year now 3 months old. Ever since we got married wife changed and started treating me like a maid in the house. A lot of demands regarding lifestyle and cleanliness, after baby born seldom let let me interact with him because she say I’m not good, cannot learn because I work 6 days work week. Every day come home get scolded or shouted at, recently become more abusive and violent hitting me. Her father say I cannot hit her back, I am not the type to hit women also, so I just tolerate. Her mother only know how to cause drama between us and always say bad things about me. Honestly I am not perfect also, one time very long ago she check my phone I got entertain some convos with girls on wechat. Other than that I never did anything else or treat her like shit. Sometimes I wake up to cook american breakfast for her, I do laundry, iron clothes and general cleaning. From then on she always blackmail me say if I don’t do certain things she will tell everyone about what I did. My salary not much because of COVID bad times, fresh graduate but I earn about 2k plus take home, I pay rental $1800 every month not much money left. I did not mind paying if it’s a happy family and I sacrifice abit, but I do so much but every day my life at home is hell. I feel like workplace is becoming like home and home is a workplace. Any advice bros? I know if I get divorce we will lose our BTO that’s still building, lose my son also. After clearing my salary and living from paycheck to paycheck, now she tell me that the money she save is hers only and I cannot depend on her in the future if something happens to me. Recently I started having depressive thoughts and wanted to take my life a few times, she told me I would not dare to. I am planning to buy a few plans so my son will have some money after I’m gone also.
  #1194  
Old 15-11-2020, 06:33 PM
Magically Magically is offline
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Re: All you need to know about "Marriage/Divorce" under the SG Law

Quote:
Originally Posted by RicochetJuke View Post
I’m 27 this year wife is 26, got a baby this year now 3 months old. Ever since we got married wife changed and started treating me like a maid in the house. A lot of demands regarding lifestyle and cleanliness, after baby born seldom let let me interact with him because she say I’m not good, cannot learn because I work 6 days work week. Every day come home get scolded or shouted at, recently become more abusive and violent hitting me. Her father say I cannot hit her back, I am not the type to hit women also, so I just tolerate. Her mother only know how to cause drama between us and always say bad things about me. Honestly I am not perfect also, one time very long ago she check my phone I got entertain some convos with girls on wechat. Other than that I never did anything else or treat her like shit. Sometimes I wake up to cook american breakfast for her, I do laundry, iron clothes and general cleaning. From then on she always blackmail me say if I don’t do certain things she will tell everyone about what I did. My salary not much because of COVID bad times, fresh graduate but I earn about 2k plus take home, I pay rental $1800 every month not much money left. I did not mind paying if it’s a happy family and I sacrifice abit, but I do so much but every day my life at home is hell. I feel like workplace is becoming like home and home is a workplace. Any advice bros? I know if I get divorce we will lose our BTO that’s still building, lose my son also. After clearing my salary and living from paycheck to paycheck, now she tell me that the money she save is hers only and I cannot depend on her in the future if something happens to me. Recently I started having depressive thoughts and wanted to take my life a few times, she told me I would not dare to. I am planning to buy a few plans so my son will have some money after I’m gone also.
You earn 2k but pay 1.8k rental? You mad?
  #1195  
Old 15-11-2020, 09:44 PM
shinjoku shinjoku is offline
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Re: All you need to know about "Marriage/Divorce" under the SG Law

Quote:
Originally Posted by Magically View Post
You earn 2k but pay 1.8k rental? You mad?
2k plus, not exactly 2k. Could be $2,999.99
  #1196  
Old 15-11-2020, 11:45 PM
RicochetJuke RicochetJuke is offline
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Magically View Post
You earn 2k but pay 1.8k rental? You mad?
I’ve been paying like that for the past year, sometimes she give me money to buy food for myself and her. She still come and geigao.
  #1197  
Old 30-11-2020, 07:56 AM
Humchipeng Humchipeng is offline
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Re: All you need to know about "Marriage/Divorce" under the SG Law

Can anyone help? Open to all advise.

F was an Indonesian Singapore PR woman legally married to Chinese Singaporean (G) in Singapore. The bought a house then after a while decide to sell the house away due to G defaulting house monthly to the bank. After the house was sold, G stayed with his family leaving F with no place to go. When F wanted divorce, G die2 don't want and he just don't care about F. He took all 3 kid but leave them to his sister. Now F has been struggling paying room rental( cos no place to go) giving money to her 3 kids and left with a meagre sum for over 2 years by herself. F got no savings to consult lawyer cos very expensive. Now what is the next best step for her to get a divorce.
  #1198  
Old 13-01-2021, 11:16 PM
xxx_OrOcO_xxx xxx_OrOcO_xxx is offline
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Re: All you need to know about "Marriage/Divorce" under the SG Law

Just saw this post, hope it's not too late.

In short, based on what you had mentioned, F don't need to worry so much per se. After all, she is still a PR in Singapore. So, F can head to Legal Aid Bureau (LAB) to see whether she can attain legal representation via legal aid at Family Justice Courts.

Otherwise, a lot of females can apply divorce on their own, or also to seek help from women's support groups in Singapore - there are many. And yes, the law here, imho, is quite lopsided, and favour women largely, due to existing Women's Charter, so that women like F are protected under law.

Hope the above helps.

Quote:
Originally Posted by Humchipeng View Post
Can anyone help? Open to all advise.

F was an Indonesian Singapore PR woman legally married to Chinese Singaporean (G) in Singapore. The bought a house then after a while decide to sell the house away due to G defaulting house monthly to the bank. After the house was sold, G stayed with his family leaving F with no place to go. When F wanted divorce, G die2 don't want and he just don't care about F. He took all 3 kid but leave them to his sister. Now F has been struggling paying room rental( cos no place to go) giving money to her 3 kids and left with a meagre sum for over 2 years by herself. F got no savings to consult lawyer cos very expensive. Now what is the next best step for her to get a divorce.
  #1199  
Old 14-01-2021, 12:05 AM
xxx_OrOcO_xxx xxx_OrOcO_xxx is offline
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Re: All you need to know about "Marriage/Divorce" under the SG Law

And yes, also want to share my own experiences. Some bros also DM me whether I'm a lawyer. Well, I'm not. Although I did receive overseas training and legal education at a law school in the US.

Many men always think that the law is so lopsided, that it favours the opposite gender largely. True to a certain extend, hence it's known as Women's Charter. Yes, there are calls to have it renamed as Family Charter etc, because of some existing norms of gender equality (I will leave this topic for another time).

Anyway, back to my own experience in FJCs. Firstly, if you can and able to afford, get a good lawyer to assist you or represent you, you will save a lot of troubles. Good family law firms like PKWA, Peter Low & Choo etc. Be genuinely nice to the lawyers and the FJCs officers/staffs; one will gain several steps ahead.

What if one don't have enough monies? Don't need to worry, FJCs is the friendliest courthouse among all the courthouses in Singapore, this is the truth. As long as one don't try to be a smart aleck, or being nasty/rude at the FJCs.

A lot of individuals who self-represented (without lawyers), can ask the court staffs on relevant procedures and they can guide you on administrative matters i.e. filing documents etc. You can also go to the Community Justice Centre (State Courts), to seek on-site one-time 10 minutes legal advice for free, on a first-come-first-serve basis (10 slots in the morning, 10 slots in the afternoon), so come early and get a Q number. I'd suggest one to ask the most relevant and important questions, so that one will know what to do.

And if one is self-represented, you can get a legal companion via Community Justice Centre, in which you need to apply for it (usually approval in matter of days, or up to 2 weeks). The legal companion will accompany you during the court session, however he/she cannot represent you or advise you, he/she can help you in terms of administrative matters i.e. what you will need to do during court session, like completing forms. He/she will sit at the audience gallery, while taking some basic notes on details one will need to remember i.e. the next court date, the amount of maintenance fee the other party is asking for etc. These basic important details, the legal companion (or known as Court Friend) can help one to take note, so that you don't need to worry about forgetting these minor admin details. And yes, trust me, bring a pen and a notebook, just make notes while the Judge is speaking or the opposite party is speaking. It makes a great deal in terms of impression, towards the Judge. And you can also tally your notes with the Court Friend too.

As for Legal Aid Bureau, just need to approach the Ministry of Law Service Centre at URA Centre (East Wing), opposite Maxwell Food Centre. Of course, there wil be income requirements for seeking on-site legal advice.

If you meet the requirements, you can see the in-house lawyer(s) from Ministry of Law immediately. Their time duration is much more generous, and if your case deserved to be represented, the Ministry of Law will take the necessary steps to represent you in Family Justice Courts. So yes, the government lawyers or assigned solicitors from private practices, can represent you for a nominal fee of SGD1000 for the entire court proceedings. Because this involves taxpayer monies, one will have to be very cooperative throughout the proceedings, even though one is a client of government lawyers / assigned solicitors.

Last edited by xxx_OrOcO_xxx; 14-01-2021 at 12:39 AM.
  #1200  
Old 14-01-2021, 12:38 AM
xxx_OrOcO_xxx xxx_OrOcO_xxx is offline
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Smile Re: All you need to know about "Marriage/Divorce" under the SG Law

As for my own case, I'd consider myself lucky as I gotten representation via Legal Aid Bureau. Not that I don't have enough monies per se, but it's something to do with my then poor state of health, that other law firms hesitated to take my case up, so Mnistry of Law assisted me. Plus I have a basic understanding of law proceedings, it was also easy for Ministry of Law or Legal Aid Bureau to assist me.

My case was a divorce matter, and it was a contested one. Although thinking back now, I'd shouldn't have contested it and should just focus on the Ancillary Matters. And yes, divorce is made up of two stages: 1st Stage is to determine whether the marriage has broken down. The Plaintiff can either agree or contest it. If Defendant (usually the husband) contest it, both Plaintiff and Defendant will need to go through several rounds of mediation and court sessions to determine what to do. Contrary to popular belief, not many cases go to Trial. But mine did (Anyway....)

So alot of divorces were granted via mutual agreement, through facilitation by the Judge, counsellors and psychologists. It will involved a number of parties from the FJCs, especially if there's a kid involved. Because then, the Family Justice Courts will deem the child interests to be the number one priority, above the interests of the Plantiff and Defendant.

In terms of ancillary matters, a lot might think the ex wife (usually the Plaintiff) will get every single cent out of the ex-husband. Again, not exactly. In my case, I didn't need to pay any form of maintenance to ex-wife at all. And I proven my case, with the help of Legal Aid Bureau. The point is that, if you prove to the Judge that you have good reasons and strong justifications, the ex-wife don't get any monies at all. For my case, my former spouse was Singapore PR. In short, she filed for divorce less than 4 months after attaining SG citizenship, no Judge will take such details lightly. And I need to pay was for the child maintenance, which I have no qualms on it. Also, before the Ancillary Matters stage, I took several steps in advance: engaging the Community Justic Centre and a Divorce Support Specialist Agency - DSSA (one of designated Family Service Centres) to start planning for post divorce matters. The Judge will take all these into considerations.

So yes, I'm grateful that I'm largely unscarred from the divorce, gotten my fair share of monies from the disposal of matrimonial assets after divorce, no spousal maintenance to paid for, just need to pay child maintenance. As long as we are willing to work and plan things out, cooperate with the Family Justice Courts and the lawyers (if any), we bros will emerged safe and sound in a divorce, so it's not true that opposite parties will get every thing in divorce.
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