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Matters of the Heart. Has a Commercial Fuck turned into a torrid Love Affair which has turned your life upside down? Fear not. We have experts here who can help you through your roller coaster ride. Tell us your story and we'll do our best to help.

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  #16  
Old 11-10-2019, 12:33 AM
Pictionary Pictionary is offline
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Re: Dilemma and need advice

Just use ur gut feeling will do. Love is based on feelings, either u have or dun have and feelings can be nurtured to love.
If not nurtured properly, then break off.

Is this something very important until need to make many considerations?
  #17  
Old 11-10-2019, 01:31 AM
ronaldo1 ronaldo1 is offline
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Re: Dilemma and need advice

Quote:
Originally Posted by submarine View Post
Hi dear bros,

I'm not sure if this is the correct forum to post. But I don't wish to do it in a normal forum so here goes:
Appreciate any kind inputs and advice:

I have a loving gf of 4 years. Everything is going great. We got a place and on verge of marriage. In fact I already proposed to her and she agreed. To any normal guy, this would seem like an almost perfect relationship. She is everything a woman should be.

There is another girl whom I have known for 5 years. Purely platonic relationship. We recently met up and I discovered that she is still single. She is almost like my gf, except she cooks and does housework, basically things that my current gf don't really do. She has an almost Malaysian kampung girl mentality, except she is fully Singaporean. Looks wise, she is slightly prettier also. She is about 4 years older than my gf though. Throughout those 5 years where we maintained a platonic friendship, we hardly texted but on those occasions whereby we did, she will ask how is my life and my relationship etc. She is clearly still looking for her mr right, and I can sense it, and it is something she admits to also. I'm pretty sure she likes me, as she has hinted that she wished she could meet more guys like me. I don't know her very well, so I take her words with a pinch of salt.

However, she seems like a good catch and sex-wise, I think she is also open to new ideas (we communicated about this before, due to me lamenting about the dull and boring sex life I have with my current gf).

I don't know what to do. If I dump my current gf, I think I would definitely feel like I let her down, and it's a terribly cruel thing to do, because she has done no wrong. On the other hand, here is a girl whom appears to be everything my current gf is, except prettier and more adventurous. My current gf doesn't cook or do housework, while this girl takes care of her place very well (she bought her own place and currently lives together with her mum). She bakes, washes, cooks and I can see she is also very good wife material

What will you do if you were in my shoes?
GO and get married with your girlfriend!

At least you know her deep in person after 4 years of R/S. How well you know this girl? You will only find out the real her likely only after you are together for a while. Plus I can tell you for a fact all women will change, first after marriage, second after birth, third menopause. I think looks are secondary if you are looking for wife. Too pretty a lot of problems also.... and trust me you will eventually still get bored of her.
  #18  
Old 11-10-2019, 11:37 PM
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Re: Dilemma and need advice

Quote:
Originally Posted by lazyguy View Post
Well say bro.

I know a gal that about the same u say.

Upped u +16
Thanks bro, upz u as well.
  #19  
Old 12-10-2019, 12:06 AM
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Re: Dilemma and need advice

The trouble is that men marry women thinking that they will never change, and women marry men thinking that they can change them.

My recommendation: A Jack Daniels, A Hendrick Gin and a Bourbon at the beach at midnight, and self-reflection under coconut tree..
  #20  
Old 12-10-2019, 01:47 AM
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Re: Dilemma and need advice

Quote:
Originally Posted by sane View Post
Thanks bro, upz u as well.
Unbelievable you are here my dear...
__________________
Up my pts and i will up yours as well(Power 5 and above pls)

Target: 18000 point hit... will be part time now only in point exchange... Thank you for the points


Please pm me for second or third round first before u up my points cos worried not able to return cheers
  #21  
Old 12-10-2019, 06:36 AM
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Re: Dilemma and need advice

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Originally Posted by Tai_zi21 View Post
Unbelievable you are here my dear...
How are you my old friend
  #22  
Old 12-10-2019, 09:14 AM
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Re: Dilemma and need advice

Quote:
Originally Posted by sane View Post
How are you my old friend
Not fun without u Leh.... what make u drop by? How everything going on?
__________________
Up my pts and i will up yours as well(Power 5 and above pls)

Target: 18000 point hit... will be part time now only in point exchange... Thank you for the points


Please pm me for second or third round first before u up my points cos worried not able to return cheers
  #23  
Old 12-10-2019, 01:11 PM
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Re: Dilemma and need advice

Quote:
Originally Posted by Tai_zi21 View Post
Not fun without u Leh.... what make u drop by? How everything going on?
I m good,pm u
  #24  
Old 12-10-2019, 10:43 PM
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Re: Dilemma and need advice

Thanks guys and gals for all the advice here.

My biggest point is my current gf's lack of sex drive. She is just not very interested in it. I think sexual compatibility is very important in a relationship, and I don't know why I took 4 years before really thinking very hard about it.

Perhaps I was in the comfort zone during these 4 years and I thought she would change for the better (sexually) after marriage. We discussed deeply about this before, about my wishes and how I hope we can try to mutually satisfy one another. However, the more I think about it, the more I conclude that things won't improve.

This is one of life's most difficult decisions
  #25  
Old 12-10-2019, 11:05 PM
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Re: Dilemma and need advice

Quote:
Originally Posted by submarine View Post
Thanks guys and gals for all the advice here.

My biggest point is my current gf's lack of sex drive. She is just not very interested in it. I think sexual compatibility is very important in a relationship, and I don't know why I took 4 years before really thinking very hard about it.

Perhaps I was in the comfort zone during these 4 years and I thought she would change for the better (sexually) after marriage. We discussed deeply about this before, about my wishes and how I hope we can try to mutually satisfy one another. However, the more I think about it, the more I conclude that things won't improve.

This is one of life's most difficult decisions
If u think ur current gf will change... Then think again... She also want u to change to be having less sex drive 😂.

So never think they will change.. I see too many only change from bad to worst...

Think properly before u continue the relationship or if u want to change...

I really dun want see people suffer after marriage and in the end divorce...
  #26  
Old 13-10-2019, 11:14 AM
protocol protocol is offline
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Re: Dilemma and need advice

think the heart wants what the heart wants. probably you gonna go for 2nd girl and dump your current. its the truth.
  #27  
Old 13-10-2019, 12:25 PM
MoJoe313 MoJoe313 is offline
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Re: Dilemma and need advice

Quote:
Originally Posted by submarine View Post
Thanks guys and gals for all the advice here.

My biggest point is my current gf's lack of sex drive. She is just not very interested in it. I think sexual compatibility is very important in a relationship, and I don't know why I took 4 years before really thinking very hard about it.

Perhaps I was in the comfort zone during these 4 years and I thought she would change for the better (sexually) after marriage. We discussed deeply about this before, about my wishes and how I hope we can try to mutually satisfy one another. However, the more I think about it, the more I conclude that things won't improve.

This is one of life's most difficult decisions
Not only is the sex not going to improve after marriage, it is going to get worse. Sad ain't it? Everything is fine with her. Except she refuses to open her legs. This is not life's most difficult decision.

Life's most difficult decision is when you ignore the sexual incompatibility. Marry her. Have 2 kids. Then find the lack of sex a big issue. You love your kids. A divorce means you lose care and control of them, you wont see your kids. But you aren't getting any sex. It frustrates you. You go for commercial sex. Once, twice. Frequent. You lose that exclusivity with your wife. You slow talk her for it. She does not respond. The quarrels come in. You can't bond with her bec there is just no sex. You are stuck in a sexless and loveless marriage. Do you walk out? Where are you going to stay after you divorce? How do you unravel 10 years of marriage to start all over again? This then, is the most difficult decision in life.

There is a thread here where hundreds of bros who have walked this path come to share in wechat. Make a wrong move. Join them.
  #28  
Old 13-10-2019, 12:38 PM
Pictionary Pictionary is offline
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Quote:
Originally Posted by submarine View Post
My biggest point is my current gf's lack of sex drive. She is just not very interested in it. I think sexual compatibility is very important in a relationship
Is it bec ur gf has too much office work to do? What is her biggest worry? Money, housing or career? Of course dun ask her straightaway after she come back from work. You cannot solve her worries, but u can offer practical advices to minimize her worries.

U might be unaware of her biggest worries. So during weekend, ask her out for a simple meal in a quiet environment. Let her know that you care for her and allow her to naturally pour her worries to you. Then u can offer advices.

Dun straightaway ask for sex. Find the right timing and ambience.
  #29  
Old 16-10-2019, 05:50 PM
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Re: Dilemma and need advice

TS, as desperate as you are, asking a group of strangers to comment on a decision that will affect rest of your life.......it just isn't right. no one is the wiser here to tell you otherwise. Even confiding to a close friend is not the solution.

I have encounter too many situation where close friend come to seek advice on decision that may change their life....never did i give a direct answer. I only break down the pro and cons, the possible result, risk and etc to the seeker. it all lies in your final decision to choose the path.

choose wisely young skywalker.......
  #30  
Old 18-10-2019, 05:46 PM
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Re: Dilemma and need advice

After reading what you type.

i guess you already have an answer.
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