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Matters of the Heart. Has a Commercial Fuck turned into a torrid Love Affair which has turned your life upside down? Fear not. We have experts here who can help you through your roller coaster ride. Tell us your story and we'll do our best to help.

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  #16  
Old 21-05-2019, 03:22 PM
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Re: Share experience of divorcing wife and get marry again.

Quote:
Originally Posted by SocialCircle View Post
My kid is 6more years to 21. I’m okie to pay the maintenance fee since it’s my kid.
So long it’s not absurd. I understand about the women’s charter.

That woman charter is not simple . i don't know what's your story your main motivation to consider a break off with your wife .but anyway good luck .

In fact my own judgment day is near . 2 kids one 18 one 16 , me and my wife had comes a long way of being together for 20 years , known her in late 97 and tie the knots in 99 .
She only got her citizenship 3 ,4 years ago after serious consideration . now she's a staff in a well known hospital , finally she tahan no more about my lifestyle and manage to find that courage to file a divorce against me late last year . got numerous letters during then and now from her lawyer and the court .

I didn't want to give a fuck about all these , neither i be bothered about it . cos i don't even had that slight motivation to want go challenge her about this . because end of the day a Good and responsible woman will never choose to leave her man for no reason . we know ourselves better what's actually happening .

Today what had happen to me was all due to my own irresponsible behavior My own doings all those years all the while being married to her , i focus too many on lust with working girls until she found out the many of the sms on my phone , she was very very very furious , easily getting emo all the time , she couldn't accept what i had done all those years behind her back , at one point in the early days when she found out , she even want to return to the south with the children's , totally saddened total disappointment in me .
I'm fortunate to had met and bond with a most wonderful person i ever had and cime across in my life which both of us can live life together in this lifetime , but i end it all due to my own foolishly acts , never ending repeating mistake over and over again to the point of no return . every one has its own stories , my stories is a sad one but i only had myself to blame . i blame no one and I'm not even qualify to ask for a bit of leniency towards me .
Not only i had let her down but also to her late father , mother , brothers and sister all whom had loved and cared for her endlessly , instead of continually showering her with endless of love , kind with gratitude , what i did all the years behind her back are of all painful and sufferings in silence for a woman , I'm a living bastard chop and signed and I'm guilty as hell of a liar which i should been shot to death by now .

I don't intend or had any desire to fight or to challenge her in any way , i will swallow the pill take all and face it like a man . i will let the court to decide the arrangements . all im all i bring it upon myself .
Like one of the bros had said in his post earlier , might end up with no one at all . no woman no family just a lonely soul only , this a retribution to me .
Hopefully one day i will come to my sense and repent .
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Last edited by leong26; 21-05-2019 at 04:08 PM.
  #17  
Old 21-05-2019, 09:49 PM
SocialCircle SocialCircle is offline
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Quote:
Originally Posted by larue View Post
It sounds like heaven right? In some ways it can be, but losing family is also very very painful.

What I meant was if you feel you must leave, do it because you can picture a better life ahead of you no matter what.

Whether it's with this other woman, some other woman, or no woman at all.

Just be careful of leaving simply and immediately for another woman because it could be just the same as with your wife before things went bad, in which case as other bro pointed out, simply making the same mistake again. Feeling in love makes men not think straight.

And be prepared you might end up with no one at all. No woman, no family. Just yourself, and hopefully some friends.
Gosh. U have written my inner thoughts....
I’m really feeling happy and anguish at the same time.
At a loss....
  #18  
Old 21-05-2019, 10:02 PM
SocialCircle SocialCircle is offline
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Quote:
Originally Posted by leong26 View Post
That woman charter is not simple . i don't know what's your story your main motivation to consider a break off with your wife .but anyway good luck .

In fact my own judgment day is near . 2 kids one 18 one 16 , me and my wife had comes a long way of being together for 20 years , known her in late 97 and tie the knots in 99 .
She only got her citizenship 3 ,4 years ago after serious consideration . now she's a staff in a well known hospital , finally she tahan no more about my lifestyle and manage to find that courage to file a divorce against me late last year . got numerous letters during then and now from her lawyer and the court .

I didn't want to give a fuck about all these , neither i be bothered about it . cos i don't even had that slight motivation to want go challenge her about this . because end of the day a Good and responsible woman will never choose to leave her man for no reason . we know ourselves better what's actually happening .

Today what had happen to me was all due to my own irresponsible behavior My own doings all those years all the while being married to her , i focus too many on lust with working girls until she found out the many of the sms on my phone , she was very very very furious , easily getting emo all the time , she couldn't accept what i had done all those years behind her back , at one point in the early days when she found out , she even want to return to the south with the children's , totally saddened total disappointment in me .
I'm fortunate to had met and bond with a most wonderful person i ever had and cime across in my life which both of us can live life together in this lifetime , but i end it all due to my own foolishly acts , never ending repeating mistake over and over again to the point of no return . every one has its own stories , my stories is a sad one but i only had myself to blame . i blame no one and I'm not even qualify to ask for a bit of leniency towards me .
Not only i had let her down but also to her late father , mother , brothers and sister all whom had loved and cared for her endlessly , instead of continually showering her with endless of love , kind with gratitude , what i did all the years behind her back are of all painful and sufferings in silence for a woman , I'm a living bastard chop and signed and I'm guilty as hell of a liar which i should been shot to death by now .

I don't intend or had any desire to fight or to challenge her in any way , i will swallow the pill take all and face it like a man . i will let the court to decide the arrangements . all im all i bring it upon myself .
Like one of the bros had said in his post earlier , might end up with no one at all . no woman no family just a lonely soul only , this a retribution to me .
Hopefully one day i will come to my sense and repent .
I tied the knot in 98. So we married around the same time.
Whatever I wanna do, wife discourages.
For so many years... kinda fed up with her.
Though she has her good points of taking care of family.
But I’m in my 40s. And if I continue living my life like this,
I really feel I’ve wasted my life.
It’s either I divorce and live my life and break up the family or I stay married unhappily....
Your case is infidelity. Which sometimes I hope I will have the same and easier to cut off the ties.
  #19  
Old 21-05-2019, 11:30 PM
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leong26 leong26 is offline
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Re: Share experience of divorcing wife and get marry again.

Quote:
Originally Posted by SocialCircle View Post
I tied the knot in 98. So we married around the same time.
Whatever I wanna do, wife discourages.
For so many years... kinda fed up with her.
Though she has her good points of taking care of family.
But I’m in my 40s. And if I continue living my life like this,
I really feel I’ve wasted my life.
It’s either I divorce and live my life and break up the family or I stay married unhappily....
Your case is infidelity. Which sometimes I hope I will have the same and easier to cut off the ties.
I don't know you im person and what i can give to you is , I hope that divorcing your wife is just a thought nothing more .
Your wife has not done anything unfaithful to you and she had been looking after your the family as a mother would be , so consider this bro , you had a woman know her duty in the household , you see many times in our workplace , you will feel wah this guy really jialat faster fuck off from here , ok in the end he did fuck off and you feel that the environment will be much more better now with another guy coming to take over his place , but then lagi worse , this new guy lagi jialat .

So you see , now you feel that you're fed up with her and felt that holding on yo her us a waste of time , so you think you might be better off without her and could be more happier .
But let me tell you this , you might feel frustrated every now and then , but in the end, who will be looking after who is still a unknown , and maybe she's the person whom will look after you when we're ill , can't work anymore etc ..
Not all men are lucky to had a woman whom know how to take care of the household .
We're fucking lucky fortunate enough to have met and bond with a girl who knows her duty .
Your complaining wife is discouraging you , what is she actually discourage you from doing ?
Or are you being the selfish one here ? Think and look deeper , the reason you had pointed out to file a divorce does not stand up .
There's no valid reason for you to divorce , unless she feel the same towards you and both of you had the same thought of letting each other go .
If not sit down chat with her tell her your problem , what you feel , and what you want from her in this relationship .

Never ponder the thoughts of divorcing when there's still solution to save it .
No person will encourage another person to divorce , so i will not advise you to divorce .
Your life your call . only you understand better
__________________


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If it doesn't challenge you , it doesn't changes you .

人间最美丽漂亮动人动听感触的音乐
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  #20  
Old 22-05-2019, 07:58 AM
SocialCircle SocialCircle is offline
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Quote:
Originally Posted by leong26 View Post
I don't know you im person and what i can give to you is , I hope that divorcing your wife is just a thought nothing more .
Your wife has not done anything unfaithful to you and she had been looking after your the family as a mother would be , so consider this bro , you had a woman know her duty in the household , you see many times in our workplace , you will feel wah this guy really jialat faster fuck off from here , ok in the end he did fuck off and you feel that the environment will be much more better now with another guy coming to take over his place , but then lagi worse , this new guy lagi jialat .

So you see , now you feel that you're fed up with her and felt that holding on yo her us a waste of time , so you think you might be better off without her and could be more happier .
But let me tell you this , you might feel frustrated every now and then , but in the end, who will be looking after who is still a unknown , and maybe she's the person whom will look after you when we're ill , can't work anymore etc ..
Not all men are lucky to had a woman whom know how to take care of the household .
We're fucking lucky fortunate enough to have met and bond with a girl who knows her duty .
Your complaining wife is discouraging you , what is she actually discourage you from doing ?
Or are you being the selfish one here ? Think and look deeper , the reason you had pointed out to file a divorce does not stand up .
There's no valid reason for you to divorce , unless she feel the same towards you and both of you had the same thought of letting each other go .
If not sit down chat with her tell her your problem , what you feel , and what you want from her in this relationship .

Never ponder the thoughts of divorcing when there's still solution to save it .
No person will encourage another person to divorce , so i will not advise you to divorce .
Your life your call . only you understand better
Actually she discourages me from stuff like changing my job, venturing out, she dun like my relatives in msia and always find excuses not to go. She visit her parents more often and when I wanted to visit mine, she comes out with other excuses to deter from going.
So maybe when at this age or menopause coming whatever, I start to detest her behavior. And I don’t want to do stuff with her anymore.
I’m not sure sitting down and talk will help cos i feel she can control herself a while but later revert back again.
Almost all the big ticket items are paid by me.
And she like branded bags... which I’ll buy every now n then. She didn’t ask directly but I just wan to make her happy.
Then at times she grumbles I’m not helping with housework.
She like to vac n mop the floor like every few days. And I told her I can help but don’t need to do that often.

So every now n then, my mind is searching for the best all rounded solution.... it’s quite frustrating.

So u will be selling the house and split the amount and u will buy resale?
  #21  
Old 22-05-2019, 09:01 AM
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leong26 leong26 is offline
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Re: Share experience of divorcing wife and get marry again.

Quote:
Originally Posted by SocialCircle View Post

So u will be selling the house and split the amount and u will buy resale?
Is best for both husband and wife to settle Domestic matters .
As for the house , probably will be sold and split , but she had assured me and tells me not to worry on that part as after divorced the family would still stay under the roof at least till the 2 young man had completed their NS , studies , for the rest i didn't had the mood to go through that thick slack of documents her lawyer had laid out the terms sent to me .
Whatever .
__________________


The difference between a Phenomenon and a Champion is that the first is not scared of dying, while the second is.

If it doesn't challenge you , it doesn't changes you .

人间最美丽漂亮动人动听感触的音乐
https://youtu.be/MqbJ9GzzEG4
  #22  
Old 23-05-2019, 08:37 AM
JacqueMerlin JacqueMerlin is offline
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Re: Share experience of divorcing wife and get marry again.

One of my good friend married a local woman but she was a typical AWARE sort of person. She had several affairs until he got numb because of the ways she justified her rights to the affairs. He met another woman from PRC and she was his De facto spouse. He brought her out during our group meetings and when he was hospitalised, only she was around to take care of him. His wife was no where to be found. He suffered a great deal financially when she divorced him after she found a new bf who promised to marry her. He married this PRC gf later and had a happy family. I saw his ex wife once in a bar at suntec and there she was with a White man. She was holding his hand and very much in love. No wonder she was in a rush to divorce.
  #23  
Old 23-05-2019, 11:53 AM
larue larue is offline
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Re: Share experience of divorcing wife and get marry again.

Quote:
Originally Posted by SocialCircle View Post
Actually she discourages me from stuff like changing my job, venturing out, she dun like my relatives in msia and always find excuses not to go. She visit her parents more often and when I wanted to visit mine, she comes out with other excuses to deter from going.
So maybe when at this age or menopause coming whatever, I start to detest her behavior. And I don’t want to do stuff with her anymore.
I’m not sure sitting down and talk will help cos i feel she can control herself a while but later revert back again.
Almost all the big ticket items are paid by me.
And she like branded bags... which I’ll buy every now n then. She didn’t ask directly but I just wan to make her happy.
Then at times she grumbles I’m not helping with housework.
She like to vac n mop the floor like every few days. And I told her I can help but don’t need to do that often.
I do agree with Leong, his experience is clearly a very painful one, whether it's his own fault or not.

I can tell you it really is no joke losing the whole family experience. I miss very much the days when we were all happy together.

In your case, you said your wife discourages you from this and that, but honestly what seems to be holding you back, is you.

That you have come to believe that nothing could possibly change unless you leave, which frankly is the easiest thing to believe, whether or not it is true.

List down all the things you are unhappy with her about, stop doing things for her that make you unhappy. She dun visit your relatives, dun visit hers either. Ask her to help pay for big ticket items. Don't buy her any branded items anymore.

So that she will know exactly how unhappy you are, because she clearly doesn't and seems to be taking you for granted now.

But when thinking of leaving, don't focus on the other woman and how wonderful you imagine life will be if you leave your wife and be with her instead.

It will cloud your judgement.
  #24  
Old 24-05-2019, 07:45 PM
EtherC EtherC is offline
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Re: Share experience of divorcing wife and get marry again.

Moral of the story: God bless the angmo dua kee 😃

Quote:
Originally Posted by JacqueMerlin View Post
One of my good friend married a local woman but she was a typical AWARE sort of person. She had several affairs until he got numb because of the ways she justified her rights to the affairs. He met another woman from PRC and she was his De facto spouse. He brought her out during our group meetings and when he was hospitalised, only she was around to take care of him. His wife was no where to be found. He suffered a great deal financially when she divorced him after she found a new bf who promised to marry her. He married this PRC gf later and had a happy family. I saw his ex wife once in a bar at suntec and there she was with a White man. She was holding his hand and very much in love. No wonder she was in a rush to divorce.
  #25  
Old 24-05-2019, 10:36 PM
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Re: Share experience of divorcing wife and get marry again.

A lot of couples stay together for the kids
  #26  
Old 25-05-2019, 09:13 AM
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Re: Share experience of divorcing wife and get marry again.

Quote:
Originally Posted by SocialCircle View Post
But I’m in my 40s. And if I continue living my life like this,
I really feel I’ve wasted my life.
This sounds like a mid-life crisis to me. Ask yourself honestly, what exactly do you want out of your life? And are you prepared to deal with the consequences of breaking up your family just to pursue your own desires?

Things like not wanting to visit your parents, grumbling about housework, these are all issues you should be aware of, and have been ok with all along. They are only more apparent now because you have met someone else that you're constantly comparing your wife with. But do bear in mind, the grass is always greener on the other side of the pasture. This new lady you have met, can you say for a fact that she wouldn't have quirks that will piss you off in time? Dating someone and doing all the fun stuff is one thing, living 24/7 and dealing with the ups and downs is another.

You say the love with your wife has "diminished". Have you done anything to keep the romance alive? It takes two hands to clap after all. Have you made an effort to do the things you did with this other woman, with your own wife? Or are you just giving up on your marriage once a better prospect comes along?

You have known your wife for decades. Boredom and complacency are definitely things that will hinder such a long relationship. If you go for a divorce now, and spend a similar amount of time with this other woman, what makes you think that you wouldn't have the same problem 20 years down the road?

Marriage is a commitment. You can't say you have "wasted your life" because I'm sure good things did come out of your marriage. It was the decision your 20s self had made that brought you here. You chose to marry your wife. Nobody put a gun to your head. You've build yourself a home over the years. Ask yourself - is it worth wrecking your home now for... what exactly?

Some people here might be saying "yea go for what your heart tells you". I'm not saying that's not a valid point of view. But remember, you are the one that has to deal with the consequences of your actions, not them. So think long and hard over what you want, and if you are willing to pay the price for it.

Based on what you've been posting, it sounds to me that you have no major problems in your marriage other than a general discontentment. Try to remember why you married your wife in the first place. What did you love about her? What are the things you guys enjoyed doing in the past? Is it possible to revisit those days?

I'll advise you to have a heartfelt conversation with your wife, rekindle the romance, and don't give up without trying.

Good luck.
  #27  
Old 25-05-2019, 05:06 PM
despacito69 despacito69 is offline
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Re: Share experience of divorcing wife and get marry again.

A lot of time, the 2nd time would fail again as there are too many attractions out there nowadays
  #28  
Old 26-05-2019, 02:50 PM
longshanwang longshanwang is offline
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Re: Share experience of divorcing wife and get marry again.

Quote:
Originally Posted by vkylim View Post
A lot of couples stay together for the kids
This is very true
  #29  
Old 27-05-2019, 01:30 AM
larue larue is offline
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Re: Share experience of divorcing wife and get marry again.

Peanut speaks a lot of truth there, and how much if it is applicable to you, and to what extent only you know.

Just be very very aware that if you decide that you must leave, it won’t just be the unpleasant parts you leave behind, it will also be the parts that bring you great happiness that you may be failing to see while wrapped up in what makes you unhappy.
  #30  
Old 27-05-2019, 08:00 PM
LeeKeeKah LeeKeeKah is offline
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Re: Share experience of divorcing wife and get marry again.

Quote:
Originally Posted by despacito69 View Post
A lot of time, the 2nd time would fail again as there are too many attractions out there nowadays
Based on your logic, first time also will fail
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