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Matters of the Heart. Has a Commercial Fuck turned into a torrid Love Affair which has turned your life upside down? Fear not. We have experts here who can help you through your roller coaster ride. Tell us your story and we'll do our best to help. |
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Advices from bros and sis
I am in my late 20s. I have been with my bf for about 2.5 years and the first two years are long term relationship with timing differences. We have overcome the long distance rs and recently he has came back to sg for almost 6 months but he couldn’t even get a proper job. He has sent near to hundred of resumes but many rejected him due to no working experience.
I feel tough being with him recently as I am a Professional and need to ot always but he seems like doing nothing and slept until noon due to jobless. I need to provide allowance for my parents and we always quarrel because of money. My friends think that we are not compatible as he doesn’t even have a stable job. Let alone planning for our future. His family background is not bad but what I want is someone who is financially independent without relying on his parents. I need some advices from the bros and sis over here. Been very vex recently over this issue, should I continue waiting for him to get a proper and stable job or should I just move forward to get someone who has common interests and common topics with me. |
#2
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Re: Advices from bros and sis
With regard work ethic, he is clearly not at your level yet. And may never be. This speaks to a far deeper problem than him waking up at noon.
You have very different values when it comes to work and money. You can’t change him, and these value systems are very deeply ingrained in each and every one of us. Even if he gets a job, his values will not change. For your sake and his, move on. No point kicking the can down the road. |
#3
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Re: Advices from bros and sis
If a guy cant even support himself, better let go
Seem to be 富二代, then ask his family set up small shop/business to earn steady stream of income |
#4
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Re: Advices from bros and sis
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Thank you for your kind advices. It somehow helps me to face the realistic like what my friends once said. |
#5
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Re: Advices from bros and sis
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Thank you for your kind advices too |
#6
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Easy la. He must wake up and stop being too dependent on family . How to take care of kids next time if still on pacifier . |
#7
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Re: Advices from bros and sis
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Perhaps both he and me are not in a very good situation to continue. |
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#9
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Re: Advices from bros and sis
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I’m pretty much in the same scenario before, graduated during massive economy downturn couldn’t find a full time job in my field of study even though sending resumes after resumes. But I didn’t just stay at home & nua but worked part time of all sorts at least have some income to support myself (even no pocket money for parents also ok) some of the part times include sports event helper, construction site mini supervisor handling bangla for a small project, temp dog accommodations where owners go overseas & we help take care their dogs (I even wash their kennels full of dog shit & need to walk the dog like they are my master) etc It dragged for 2yrs when economy picked up & I finally able to get a full time job but pay sucks big time but at least better than doing part time all the way I treat my parents makan when I get my 1st pay check sibeh shiok (they also super happy even though my pay not very high) slowly getting the necessary experience & switch jobs & rest is history So if he has the will to go look for something to do I think still can put on observation mode...if not I think letting go might be a better option my 2cents |
#10
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Re: Advices from bros and sis
hi sis,
do u think he is a responsible person? do u share common interests with him? do u share similar life values with him? do u share similar financial values with him? |
#11
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Re: Advices from bros and sis
Everyone can play a role in society.
A guy may be good as a househusband, not neccesarily always the bread winner. But can both of you accept such a scenario? Stable jobs are hard to come by these days. This is the new normal. You might try dating but then realise the grass may not be greener elsewhere too. |
#12
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Re: Advices from bros and sis
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What usually happens is that nothing changes at all, because human beings don’t change for others, but for themselves. Or worse, they do as you command, but on a subconscious level, they will never forget this affront to their character and resent you forever. Or, they make the change. They are happy about it, and they will will feel great pride at having reformed themselves, and claim all the credit. And forget you and move on to better things. Such is human nature. Much simpler to just decide what you can accept in your life. |
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