Why is it that society has painted men that they think sex is just an emotionless act wanting to organism and that is it. It is nothing further than the truth. I have this in my married life that my wife shows zero day to day affection. I have no idea when last I have even kissed my wife good morning or in the evening when returning home from work. The real question that needs to be answered is why do people change. What happened to cause the change in behaviour are the just bored with the current situation? I agree one party should not only be making an effort. It should be both. That is what a relationship and marriage is about. It does not go about one or the other.
When a couple is not married to each other, whatever they do for each other tend to be appreciated. They dont have to, but they do what they did because they love and care for each other. They are grateful for every little deeds received.
When a couple is formally married, whatever they do for each other are obligations. They do what they did because it is their responsibility in the marriage. They take for granted all the little deeds received.
When a couple is not married to each other, whatever they do for each other tend to be appreciated. They dont have to, but they do what they did because they love and care for each other. They are grateful for every little deeds received.
When a couple is formally married, whatever they do for each other are obligations. They do what they did because it is their responsibility in the marriage. They take for granted all the little deeds received.
I dont agree with this. However each to his own. Being married does not suddenly change you to be obligated to do certain things. There is no finite list of essential element and duties of marriage.
Same with the responsibilities. Although it is expected that a wife should shoulder all the household responsibilities and the husband should look after the financial matters, but times are changing and there is no defined role. If both the partners are professionals and work to earn a livelihood, they should discuss their roles before they get married.
The problem occurs due to a lack of communication. They get married have children then the shit hits the fan and no one knows how or what to do.
I feel that you should spicing up your sex life.. like maybe a trip to somehwere.. book a nice hotel, dim lights and champagne but i really respect you for being faithful bro
Yes i oso agree, must set the mood first mah only can shiok... if not ur wife oso dun feel like doing
I hope for you, that she is not having her fill of urges outside A friend's friend had a similar story to yours, turned out the wife had been banging outside after their second kid was borned, went on for years before the hubby found out
thats why ppl have trust issues... cant even sleep properly at night thinking if the wife faithful or not...
Sometimes I will text my wife something sexy complimenting her once in awhile that I love and miss her just to keep the romance going. We also experienced a period where there was hardly any action except for the baby trying period. I try to do and say things to show that I appreciate her. It's not really about material needs. I was also upfront with her that I have my needs and I'm not sure about you guys but I miss the times where how my wife and I will make out during our younger days. We have been together for slightly more than 15 yrs and I try to replicate the good old times when we happen to have the night to ourselves.
Like one bro mentioned, communication is key and this is really true for my case. There was a period my wife and I were hardly talking because we were busy with work and frequently engaged with our phones. We had an argument about this and talked about it then things started to pick up again.
However I do acknowledge that not all couples can communicate properly and tbh, I don't believe in marriage counselling. It's about the willingness and experimenting diff ways of communicating and hopefully one hits the nail. I have had friends telling me why they or their wife are 'eating' outside and often times I found that lack of communication was the catalyst. And by communication, I don't mean talking about having sex. It's about sharing your day, asking about theirs, sharing anything you saw that was interesting etc. Don't wait for shit to hit the fan so be the first one to make the first move.
Hopefully what I have shared makes sense.
However I do acknowledge that not all couples can communicate properly and tbh, I don't believe in marriage counselling. It's about the willingness and experimenting diff ways of communicating and hopefully one hits the nail.
Don't be too quick to write off counselling. It really can be helpful to talk with a trained intermediary precisely because miscommunication can happen very easily between just 2 people.
Without a third party, people often lack the willingness or ability to experiment different ways of communicating.
Saw a couple of threads where the Bros share their sad stories. Thought i will also share mine here, just to get things of my chest....The only thing that i look forward to at home now, is playing with my kids. Have completely given up hope that i will ever have sex at home.
Just ranting. Thanks for reading Bros.
Bro Killingbird since you are not asking for suggestions, so none offered. Just out of curiosity, how was sex with your wife before your 2nd kid?
Sometimes I will text my wife something sexy complimenting her once in awhile that I love and miss her just to keep the romance going. We also experienced a period where there was hardly any action except for the baby trying period. I try to do and say things to show that I appreciate her. It's not really about material needs. I was also upfront with her that I have my needs and I'm not sure about you guys but I miss the times where how my wife and I will make out during our younger days. We have been together for slightly more than 15 yrs and I try to replicate the good old times when we happen to have the night to ourselves.
Like one bro mentioned, communication is key and this is really true for my case. There was a period my wife and I were hardly talking because we were busy with work and frequently engaged with our phones. We had an argument about this and talked about it then things started to pick up again.
However I do acknowledge that not all couples can communicate properly and tbh, I don't believe in marriage counselling. It's about the willingness and experimenting diff ways of communicating and hopefully one hits the nail. I have had friends telling me why they or their wife are 'eating' outside and often times I found that lack of communication was the catalyst. And by communication, I don't mean talking about having sex. It's about sharing your day, asking about theirs, sharing anything you saw that was interesting etc. Don't wait for shit to hit the fan so be the first one to make the first move.
Hopefully what I have shared makes sense.
Good post! A must read for bros in sexless marriages. Thanks bro fishmeup
I am married 20 years and experience the same. Its not about the one-off romantic holiday overseas as one bro suggested. Its about the whole day to day feeling. I text my wife often through out the day; I start by telling her I love her. When we are physically together, we habitually engage in "small talks". Never belittle what small talks do for women!
Yes, although communication is important, how you make her feel is even more important. Do you text your wife just to communicate your instructions to her? Or is every communication with you a dread for her?
Often, many couples cease to communicate bec they have quarrelled frequently over silly mundane things till they are so sick of each other. Their only communication is to text each other kids logistical matters. If that is so, you have prized mundane things over sex.
Let her have some wins. Remember how you used to accommodate her when you were wooing her?
The rot in marriages does not start with suggestions of divorce. It starts when couples cease to WANT to communicate. Sexless is the result. Its her way of telling you she ain't no want to connect with you; you do your things I do mine.
I am no corporate high flier - read as no buy Hermes bag for her. But I am still rocking it every week after 20 years. Women these days can settle their own material needs. Think they prefer their emotional needs fulfilled. They married you for love, not bec you are a bank. Hope my sharing helps.
Last edited by VoicesWithin; 03-09-2020 at 12:22 PM.
Reason: Fixed typos. Don't fussy Boss Sam!
Good post! A must read for bros in sexless marriages. Thanks bro fishmeup
I am married 20 years and experience the same. Its not about the one-off romantic holiday overseas as one bro suggested. Its about the whole day to day feeling. I text my wife often through out the day; I start by telling her I love her. When we are physically together, we habitually engage in "small talks". Never belittle what small talks do for women!
Yes, although communication is important, how you make her feel is even more important. Do you text your wife just to communicate your instructions to her? Or is every communication with you a dread for her?
Often, many couples cease to communicate bec they have quarrelled frequently over silly mundane things till they are so sick of each other. Their only communication is to text each other kids logistical matters. If that is so, you have prized mundane things over sex.
Let her have some wins. Remember how you used to accommodate her when you were wooing her?
The rot in marriages does not start with suggestions of divorce. It starts when couples cease to WANT to communicate. Sexless is the result. Its her way of telling you she ain't no want to connect with you; you do your things I do mine.
I am no corporate high flier - read as no buy Hermes bag for her. But I am still rocking it every week after 20 years. Women these days can settle their own material needs. Think they prefer their emotional needs fulfilled. They married you for love, not bec you are a bank. Hope my sharing helps.
Agree that when couples quarrel too frequently, will end up not communicating. Hence couples should learn to hold back when arguments even started.
Another deadly to marriage is when spouse finger points.. plus assuming things on their own thoughts.... and then blame it on you.
Spouse caught lying also deadly.
But when no sex... really cannot survive the marriage?
Saw a couple of threads where the Bros share their sad stories. Thought i will also share mine here, just to get things of my chest.
Am married for 7 years now with 2 kids. No sex since the wife got preggie with our 2nd and my 2nd is now approaching 1year. So, almost 2 years without sex now. In fact, we had sex for a grand total of 7 times in that year leading up to the 2nd pregnancy; she only wanted sex during her most fertile day in order to get pregnant.
Had tried to initiate sex (many many times) but she was always tired. It is ok if she is tired, but she has alot of time surfing Instagram or chasing Korean/China drama. Adds to my misery.
The final straw that broke me was my birthday. I thought that getting birthday hump should be the minimum? Didnt get any; she showered, went to bed and promptly fell asleep. i left the room, opened a bottle of Glenfiddich and stared blankly into space for a good couple of hours.
And before i get bombarded with questions on whether i treat my wife well. Well, i've definitely fulfilled all her material needs. Chanel, Hermes, you name it, she have it. I am also the one that does the housework around the house. Cooking, mopping, laundry chores, are done by me, while she focus on taking care of my kids.
To add insult to injury, i am a corporate hi-flier (money is not a problem for me) and i have had multiple woman hinting or out rightly seducing me to try to climb the corporate ladder. I've rejected them all as i believe in remaining faithful to my wife. I also dont engage in FL/WLs as am scare of the potential diseases that i could pass on to my kids.
The only thing that i look forward to at home now, is playing with my kids. Have completely given up hope that i will ever have sex at home.
Just ranting. Thanks for reading Bros.
Just dropping a note to say I totally feel you, been on the same boat since the 1st child. Hope you regain your sexual life at some point.
Saw a couple of threads where the Bros share their sad stories. Thought i will also share mine here, just to get things of my chest.
Am married for 7 years now with 2 kids. No sex since the wife got preggie with our 2nd and my 2nd is now approaching 1year. So, almost 2 years without sex now. In fact, we had sex for a grand total of 7 times in that year leading up to the 2nd pregnancy; she only wanted sex during her most fertile day in order to get pregnant.
Had tried to initiate sex (many many times) but she was always tired. It is ok if she is tired, but she has alot of time surfing Instagram or chasing Korean/China drama. Adds to my misery.
The final straw that broke me was my birthday. I thought that getting birthday hump should be the minimum? Didnt get any; she showered, went to bed and promptly fell asleep. i left the room, opened a bottle of Glenfiddich and stared blankly into space for a good couple of hours.
And before i get bombarded with questions on whether i treat my wife well. Well, i've definitely fulfilled all her material needs. Chanel, Hermes, you name it, she have it. I am also the one that does the housework around the house. Cooking, mopping, laundry chores, are done by me, while she focus on taking care of my kids.
To add insult to injury, i am a corporate hi-flier (money is not a problem for me) and i have had multiple woman hinting or out rightly seducing me to try to climb the corporate ladder. I've rejected them all as i believe in remaining faithful to my wife. I also dont engage in FL/WLs as am scare of the potential diseases that i could pass on to my kids.
The only thing that i look forward to at home now, is playing with my kids. Have completely given up hope that i will ever have sex at home.
Just ranting. Thanks for reading Bros.
Is okay bro.... lots of man out there have the same problem... either wife don’t give sex or lost interest in have sex with wife.
Just head down to GL... have a good meals and than go to have a quick fuck at those legal house. After all much of the sex is like a physical needs, just fuck and than go home..
Saw a couple of threads where the Bros share their sad stories. Thought i will also share mine here, just to get things of my chest.
Am married for 7 years now with 2 kids. No sex since the wife got preggie with our 2nd and my 2nd is now approaching 1year. So, almost 2 years without sex now. In fact, we had sex for a grand total of 7 times in that year leading up to the 2nd pregnancy; she only wanted sex during her most fertile day in order to get pregnant.
Had tried to initiate sex (many many times) but she was always tired. It is ok if she is tired, but she has alot of time surfing Instagram or chasing Korean/China drama. Adds to my misery.
The final straw that broke me was my birthday. I thought that getting birthday hump should be the minimum? Didnt get any; she showered, went to bed and promptly fell asleep. i left the room, opened a bottle of Glenfiddich and stared blankly into space for a good couple of hours.
And before i get bombarded with questions on whether i treat my wife well. Well, i've definitely fulfilled all her material needs. Chanel, Hermes, you name it, she have it. I am also the one that does the housework around the house. Cooking, mopping, laundry chores, are done by me, while she focus on taking care of my kids.
To add insult to injury, i am a corporate hi-flier (money is not a problem for me) and i have had multiple woman hinting or out rightly seducing me to try to climb the corporate ladder. I've rejected them all as i believe in remaining faithful to my wife. I also dont engage in FL/WLs as am scare of the potential diseases that i could pass on to my kids.
The only thing that i look forward to at home now, is playing with my kids. Have completely given up hope that i will ever have sex at home.
Just ranting. Thanks for reading Bros.
i had this same issue with my wife, she worry of getting pregnant again, but i would suggest heart to heart talk, it did work for me, just have chat on this matter, i believe it will help... ask why she avoiding it? is worry she get pregrant again? they rather not have sex is partially because of this issue.. i believe...my wife is scare of having another child to take care...
i had this same issue with my wife, she worry of getting pregnant again, but i would suggest heart to heart talk, it did work for me, just have chat on this matter, i believe it will help... ask why she avoiding it? is worry she get pregrant again? they rather not have sex is partially because of this issue.. i believe...my wife is scare of having another child to take care...
Considering how many ways there are to avoid getting pregnant without abstaining, this excuse is as flimsy as they come.
So did the heart to heart talk work for you or not? Cannot tell, so how did you get her to overcome her fear of getting pregnant again?
i had this same issue with my wife, she worry of getting pregnant again, but i would suggest heart to heart talk, it did work for me, just have chat on this matter, i believe it will help... ask why she avoiding it? is worry she get pregrant again? they rather not have sex is partially because of this issue.. i believe...my wife is scare of having another child to take care...
Then you just put on the condom lor bro when having sex if yr wife is so scared to be pregnant...omg !...don't u guys know the use of the condom that it protects n guards against pregnancy n even STD ???...every guy or gal from puberty onwards will surely know this whether they r married or not...u shd know this, more so that both of u r a married couple n already hv a kid...sorry no offense meant bro, just telling a fact that every one of us shd know guy or gal
Good post! A must read for bros in sexless marriages. Thanks bro fishmeup
I am married 20 years and experience the same. Its not about the one-off romantic holiday overseas as one bro suggested. Its about the whole day to day feeling. I text my wife often through out the day; I start by telling her I love her. When we are physically together, we habitually engage in "small talks". Never belittle what small talks do for women!
Yes, although communication is important, how you make her feel is even more important. Do you text your wife just to communicate your instructions to her? Or is every communication with you a dread for her?
Often, many couples cease to communicate bec they have quarrelled frequently over silly mundane things till they are so sick of each other. Their only communication is to text each other kids logistical matters. If that is so, you have prized mundane things over sex.
Let her have some wins. Remember how you used to accommodate her when you were wooing her?
The rot in marriages does not start with suggestions of divorce. It starts when couples cease to WANT to communicate. Sexless is the result. Its her way of telling you she ain't no want to connect with you; you do your things I do mine.
I am no corporate high flier - read as no buy Hermes bag for her. But I am still rocking it every week after 20 years. Women these days can settle their own material needs. Think they prefer their emotional needs fulfilled. They married you for love, not bec you are a bank. Hope my sharing helps.
Well said by this bro on the problems of sexless marriages ...he has analyzed them well n has offered some v. good advice to overcome the problem...many husbands are guilty of not speaking lovingly to their wives as they shd n vice versa as well...this the result of stresses of daily life taking its toll on them
02-09-2020, 09:34 AM
...he has analyzed them well n has offered some v. good advice to overcome the problem...many husbands are guilty of not speaking lovingly to their wives as they shd n vice versa as well...this the result of stresses of daily life taking its toll on them
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A friend's friend had a similar story to yours, turned out the wife had been banging outside after their second kid was borned, went on for years before the hubby found out 
